Posts by Bona Dea

44

Blood type..............who knows their's and who's an A- ?

by Sunnygal41 in

hi fellow posters!

in connection with a recent post by blondie, i wondered what everyone's blood type was on the forum.

a couple of years ago, i wondered what mine was and contacted my hospital that has my records.

Bona Dea

O negative.

I'm universal. Anyone can use my blood. I give it as often as I can.

36

Is It More Important to You to "Love" or Be "Loved"?

by pettygrudger in

jw
friends

although both are important parts of human existence, they are not mutually inclusive.

is it more important to you to feel "love" for others or to know you're "loved" by others?

i think the answer to that question sometimes dictates our actions as human beings..

This is an interesting thread. I don't really know what I feel about the whole love thing. I love my children - unconditionally. I love my family, although they cause me a great deal of pain - but I still love them. Personally, I don't feel that I've ever truly been loved by anyone. My kids love me - but I've yet to have a loving a meaningful relationship with any adult. So, I don't know where I would have "learned" to love. I do give love, and a bit more freely than perhaps I should. I adore my children and know that I am an awesome and loving mom. However, I did not learn these things from my own parents. I don't think that a person has to experience being loved in order to know how to give and show it. I actually think maybe it's my lack of receiving love that makes me so much more willing and open to give it - because I know how it is to feel unloved.

Great thread.

25

I keep finding more and more grey hairs in my beard. :S

by Elsewhere in

jw
friends

a few years ago i started my little "collection" in a small container in my bathroom.

evertime i find a grey hair in my beard i pluck it out and put it in the container.

so far the collection has been quite "modest".. now it looks like they grey hairs in my beard are starting to gang up on me.

Bona Dea

I have to agree with some others here: Gray hair is sexy!! Nothing quite so hot as a man with some salt and pepper.

LOL @candidlynuts...

12

My grandmothers very ill....

by MelbaToast in

my only living grandma is in icu right now.

apparently she had a colonoscopy about a week before thanksgiving and was released to go home.

they cut out 11 polyps, but the 12th one was too big to cut out.

Bona Dea

I'm really sorry for you.

Hope all goes well for your grandmother. I lost my dad last year in the midst of some majorly difficult circumstances. It is tough. Despite it all, try to take care of yourself.

Keep us posted.

39

my dad passed away

by azaria in

jw
friends

he passed away last friday.

i never thought i'd ever enter a kingdom hall but we did it.

it wasn't a pleasant experience.

Bona Dea

((((azaria))))

I am very sorry about your dad. My deepest heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and your family.

~sadie

18

Help!! Learn from the Great Teacher book...and some legal advice....

by Bona Dea in

hello.... i don't really know if this has been posted yet.

i know there are quite a few postings regarding the release of the new "childrens" book at this years convention but i don't know if any of them have focused on the articles i've quoted here.

if so, sorry for the repeat.

Bona Dea

Hi,

I guess I should post an update

Things are basically still the same. I am looking for a job right now, with no luck. I have been substitute teaching to make a little money, but it's not enough (or consistent) to support me and the kids. Hub's not going to take any action until I find a job. And I can't hire a lawyer until I have some money. Frankly, I am ready for him to go. He has been unbearably cold, snide, and even more distant than he already was prior to baptism.

He has informed me that he is going to try to get joint custody of our daughter. I don't really know what his chances of succeeding are, but I honestly don't see how it could be good for her. And from what I've read about joint custody, it's almost never given because it's rarely in "the best interest of the child," mainly because the child winds up being juggled back in forth in a 50/50 tug-of-war between the parents, and the child never feels like he/she has a home. It is generally only awarded to parents who can agree on everything regarding the child, as well (and I don't see this happening EVER, as this is one of our MAJOR issues). I really don't understand why he's doing it (well, actually I have a couple of ideas of why). I don't doubt that he loves her, I know he does, but surely he realizes that this would not be good for her. This child, if any child, needs stability. She was one of the main reasons I came back last time I left him. She would say she wanted to go "home." Our home is where her bed, her toys, her things, her life had always been. And he was there, and I wasn't. And when I left her there with him, she peed on herself. Even still, she would beg to go see daddy because he was at "home." And I'm not saying that she doesn't love him, I'm just saying that it is obvious that a child needs a place that they call "home," and they need the elements in place that make it their home. Whether she would have peed on herself had the tables been turned, and it had been me at "home" in place of dad, I can't say for sure; but she never wet herself when she was with me.

Another reason I can't understand is why he is insisting on this is because he can't even get home in time to spend any time with them now. He hardly sees her as it is. Does he think that his workload or his little JW cohorts are going back-off and stop expecting the same from him as he's giving them now, just because he has a child at home to take care of? What will he do with her on the nights he has to work as late as 3 a.m.? Or even the nights he works until 8-9 p.m. (which is almost every night except Tues and Thurs)?

Oddly though, he can get home just in time to eat a quick meal (usually around 6:30), have a quick bible study with the kids (his idea of "spending time with the kids"), and make his meetings on Tues and Thurs nite; but every other night of the week, he can't get in until around 8 or 9 (and the kids are already in bed)? His work hours are supposedly 8-5. Then he complains about never seeing the kids. Talk about screwed up priorities. He can make the effort to be home in time to attend meetings, but not to see his own kids? And he wants joint custody? Why? Vengence? Spite? Because he thinks he is entitled to it? Because he doesn't want to pay child-support? Because he truly loves her? All of the above? All of which are completely selfish and show no concern for her best interest, but rather his. He doesn't even spend time (or, IMHO, make an effort to) with them now. On weekends, he is gone all morning Sat and Sun until about 12:30/1:00, and then sometimes he goes back to work and works until nighttime. The time he does spend with them on weekends, he always has a tag-along friend (a-whole-nother story).

Sorry for the rant. This whole situation is b e y o n d insane.

I will try to keep things updated, but there will probably not be any progression until I find a job. Wish me luck...

Sadie

18

Help!! Learn from the Great Teacher book...and some legal advice....

by Bona Dea in

hello.... i don't really know if this has been posted yet.

i know there are quite a few postings regarding the release of the new "childrens" book at this years convention but i don't know if any of them have focused on the articles i've quoted here.

if so, sorry for the repeat.

Bona Dea

Thank you for all you comments.

Nathan,

I've read that. Actually, I've downloaded it onto my desktop. I think I'll print and hide it somewhere.

sKally,

I see your point...but is it realistic? I live in the United States. Around here, abeit how unpopular JWs are, they are recognized as a "religion" and are just as entitled to teach their children their beliefs as anyone. While I agree that although a parent has a right to teach their children whatever they wish, it is my opinion there is a fine line that separates unacceptable from acceptable, and unfortunately, most courts don't view the beliefs of JWs as being "unacceptable". If they begin taking the rights away from parents because of the cruelty their children may have to endure because of their beliefs or religions, who then would be safe from the court system? The strict Muslim, hindus, etc, who do not conform to American culture and make their children wear the garb, do their mantras, etc...are they being cruel? Do they not have a right to teach their children their beliefs and culture? I am not defending the JWs, but I'm just trying to be practical. This is just, realistically speaking, the type of analogies JWs would try to draw. How do you debunk that? You make some very valid points. I just don't think I can financially go up against WT lawyers for one thing...and I'm afraid it might would come to that if I bring this religion into it. And I do see the harmful affects this religion can have on a child's mental and physical (the blood issue) security, stability, health...and I do want to protect my kids from that. I just don't know which is the best strategy to use in order to accomplish this.

I posted my story here because I want to be sure that I am trying to be fair, and when I read this new book, it frightened me. I have been (ever since I stopped attending the meetings and such) simply telling my kids that I just don't agree with what the JWs teach anymore. But the JWs are indirectly, with their manipulative literature and "christian meetings" chocked full of crafty wording, teaching my children that I can't be trusted because I am not one of them. They are completely undermining my authority and guidance as a parent. It is really difficult to determine your ability to be fair when you feel angry, betrayed, violated, scared, alone... I just didn't know if it is really fair for me to attempt to take these kids away from him because of his misguided trust and complete faith in this publishing company...because I don't want this crap taught to my kids, because I can see how unhealthy their teachings and demands are. But I've also seen the statistics of kids from broken homes, where the father practically disappears completely from their lives. And I'm trying to unbiasedly determine which is the worst case scenario:: Stay with dad sometimes; time with dad spent being indoctrinated into his little cult (emphasize sometimes because his time would them would probably, at most, be every other weekend -- he is, BTW, wanting EVERY weekend with them...I told him to keep dreaming...a cold day in hell, my friend) OR try to keep kids away from the influence of dad and his cohorts as much as possible and risk my kids growing up being juvenile delinquents because of the lack of a father figure in their lives.

Fortunately, my son is the product of another relationship...and my husband has no legal rights to him what-so-ever. He [husband] has expressed that he wants to continue seeing my son. He has been the only father my son has known. My son was only 4 mos old when my husband and I began dating, and he was 8 mos old when we were married, so my son has never known a time without my husband being his dad. My husband has offered to pay child support for my son, although he is not bound to do so, just so he could see him too. My mom has made the comment that I should tell my husband, "I'm sorry, but it's bad enough I have to share my daughter; I'm not about to pimp my son out to you!!" I thought I would let my son decide whether he wants to see my husband or not. To some degree, I feel like he [my son] probably won't want to see him. My son is very sensitive to the things going on around him. He is not dumb to the situation. I don't think he's too happy about "the truth" either, and I'm pretty sure he sees the problems that have resulted from mom and dad being exposed to it. But I don't know. I may just refuse to let him go, and then bear the burden of my son being angry at me.

Thanks again for the advice.

Leslie, thanks for sharing those resources. I hadn't even thought about them.

Sadie

18

Help!! Learn from the Great Teacher book...and some legal advice....

by Bona Dea in

hello.... i don't really know if this has been posted yet.

i know there are quite a few postings regarding the release of the new "childrens" book at this years convention but i don't know if any of them have focused on the articles i've quoted here.

if so, sorry for the repeat.

Bona Dea

Hello...

I don't really know if this has been posted yet. I know there are quite a few postings regarding the release of the new "childrens" book at this years convention but I don't know if any of them have focused on the articles I've quoted here. If so, sorry for the repeat. Well, I've been looking through this book and I have some questions.

I've posted some about my personal life, but for those who haven't had the pleasure of reading my previous posts, I'll give a brief. As of right now, my husband and I are still living together, but he has told me he wants a divorce. He was baptized at the July convention. Two weeks before he was baptized he told me he was no longer happy, and he thought we needed to seek divorce, but he would give me time to find a job (I am currently a stay-at-home-mom). So, basically we are in some sort of bizarre limbo here. We have pretty much agreed on all the material things, the house, the cars, the money...it's just custody of the kids we can't agree on.

I am trying to be objective here, and that is a very difficult thing to do when you are slap-dab in the middle of a situation. Recently, my kids have started this "mommy I don't want you to die" stuff and telling me that "I need to know about Jehovah and wickedness", the latter coming from my 5-year-old daughter. I can only imagine the junk that is being pummeled into their tiny impressionable little minds by my husband. I am trying to determine which would be more traumatic for my children: the possiblity of rarely seeing their father (I say possibility because even if I do try to gain full custody with minimal visitation for him, I may not get it), or growing up having their mom and everyone around them demonized constantly, having to contend with the guilt that this religion loads on its followers,and having their conscience seared to the point that they question whether or not they should join the YMCA, have a girlfriend, have a friend who is not a witness, do a worksheet passed out in class because it has a christmas tree on it, or be around me because I am agnostic...and my god is not "Jehovah". I am scared of losing my kids forever to this religion, but I don't want to take them away from their father. I don't know what to do. Right now, I don't even have a job..I don't even know how I will go about paying an attorney, and then I don't even know how I would go about proving that being with their father may not be in their best interest...because this is something that I'm not even sure of.

Anyway, back to the book. My husband wanted to start reading to them from the new Learn from the Great Teacher book. Well, I told him that I rather he didn't until I looked through it. I was aware of some of the things in it, such as the bit on child abuse (pgs 170-171) and the image on pg 243, but after just a few minutes of browsing through it, I found a few other things that bothered me immensely. I'm posting them here, and was curious if anyone on this forum may would know if this would make a difference in a court of law. Maybe with a psychiatric evaluation, I dunno. I was just very disturbed by what I read.

I wish I had scans, but I do not, and the pictures are worth a thousand words...My thoughts are in red:::

160-161, pic shows a kid being pointed at by all his classmates who are holding gifts. The caption says, "How might you find yourself in a situation similar to that of Peter". Here is a bit of what the surrounding article, entitled "Help to Overcome our Fears":

"...Now let's think of something that could happen to us that is like what happened to Peter. Suppose you are in a classroom when others start to say bad things about people sho do not salute the flag or who do not celebrate Christmas. Then what if someone turns tro you and asks:"Is it true you don't salute the flag?" Or others say:"We hear you don't even celebrate Christmas!" Would you be afraid to tell the truth? -- Would you be tempted to lie, as Peter did? --

Afterward, Peter was very sorry that he had denied knowing Jesus...."

This just reeks of blame, shame, and guilt. It likens lying (which is a bad enough implication in and of itself) in situations like this to denying Jesus. The advice it gives kids to keep this from happening to them is to pray more and to listen more carefully at their "christian meeting"...implying that if this does happen to them that it is because of some lack of spirituality on their part...

pg 214, no pic...but very interesting article, entitled "Children who make God Happy". I could probably stop right there and let you guys just imagine the information found in this article, but I'm just gonna pull out a little bit that bothered me:

"Where do we learn things about God hat we can talk to others about? -- From our Bible study at home. But we learn more at the place where God's people meet to study {the Kingdom Hall? rright..}. But how can we tell who are his people?--

Well, what do the people do at their meetings {as if any of the young people at the KH have ever set foot in another church to know this answer first-hand}? Do they really teach what is in the bible? Do they read it and discuss it? That is how we listen to God, isn't it?-- And at Christian meetings we would expect to hear what God says, wouldn't we?-- But what if people say that you do not have to live the way the Bible says {in other words, "What if people say that you do not have to live the way that we tell you the Bible says you should?"}." Would you say that they are God's people?--

Here is something else to think about. The Bible says that God's people would be "a people for his name." (Acts 15:14) Since God's name is Jehovah, we can ask people if Jehovah is their God. If they say no, then we know that they are not God's people {so, in other words my own children should not listen to me}...."

I don't think there is much to add. This is obviously an attempt to demonize everyone who is not a Jehovah's Witness and to subtly encourage isolation from all other groups of people.

pg 241, this is the last one I'm going to bring up today because I'm running out of time here. It is a picture of some families at what looks like a beach or water park or something, having a good time together. The caption reads, "Why should we not just be thinking about having fun?" Good grief. These poor kids. A portion of the surrounding article entitled, "Water Destroys a World -- Will it Happen Again?":

"Now, remember, Jesus said that what happened to those people [the flood] is a lesson for us today. What lesson can we learn?-- Well, people were destroyed not only because they were bad but because many were just too busy to take the time to learn about God and what he was going to do. We need to be careful that we are not like them, don't we?"

Amazing!! How they can take every little bit of pleasure that a child could have in their life and try to make them feel guilty for it. I have read time and time again on here how many say they never felt like anything they ever did was enough. I can see why. The pictures and the captions alone from this book speak multitudes.

Comments welcome. If anyone has access to a scanner, feel free to post pics and articles. Any advice on my current situation is EXTREMELY welcome, as well....

Sadie

14

What can I expect??

by Bona Dea in

my husband is getting baptized in 3 weeks.

i have had some tell me to expect some big changes.

as of now, i am agnostic...probably will be for the rest of my life.

Bona Dea

Thank you all for your condolences. You just don't know how much your words mean to me...Thanks....

What if the husband is the practicing Christian and the wife is not? The Bible gives direction for such situations. It says: "If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and yet she is agreeable to dwelling with him, let him not leave her." (1 Corinthians 7:12) It also admonishes husbands: "Keep on loving your wives." - Collosians 3:19.

This has been what he has been saying to me ever since I have proposed divorce. I don't think I was clear about that on my first post. We have had problems since day one of our marriage long before JWs came into the picture. Our involvement with them has only placed more strain on our already troubled relationship. You really have to know the history of our marriage to appreciate our current situation in its entirety. I am older than he. We married when he was 18 and I was 24 (now we're 25 and 31). He was (still is), as expected, very immature. From the beginning, he has always been a very controlling and insecure person. When we were first married he placed an ultimatum on me to choose between my friends or him. He had packed his things into his car and was prepared to leave if I said I wanted to still see my friends and be married to him. He was completely unwilling to compromise. This was ONE month into our marriage. Six months later, I lost my job and he encouraged me to stay home with my son (not his) for a while. I thought this was so kind. Then I got pregnant. So, I stayed home throughout the pregnancy. About 3 mos after I had my daughter, I decided it was time to go back to work. My husband begged me not to. He could support us on his income, the kids needed me more at home, blah blah blah. But it wasn't the money, and it wasn't that I wanted to get away from the kids, I just needed a job. I thought I was going nuts.

Then my mom came to me and offered to watch the kids so I could go back to college. I would've been commuting to a college that was about 45 mins away. I was thrilled. My husband got really depressed and started this whole, "you're going to go down there and meet guys," "how will I know what you're doing all day long," yada, yada. At any rate, I felt sorry for him. I had been a previous relationship where my partner was an extreme narcissist and thought he was god's gift to the world. He was forever flinging in my face the fact that he was so beautiful, and I was undeserving of him (and really I was but not in the same way he thought). He viciously flirted with women with me around and successfully made me feel thoroughly worthless. At any rate, I remembered the feelings of insecurity and loneliness I had while involved with this person, and did not wish to make anyone feel this way. So, I did not go to college. I did, however, get a job. A part time job that I worked around my husband's schooling (yes, he did get to go to college and I encouraged him every step of the way) and his job. Mine was a second shift job. I went to work when he got in from his job and was off the nights he had school. He would call me constantly at work and want to talk for long periods of time. I usually had to just put him on hold and leave him there until he finally hung up and called back. On my 30 minute break, he would expect me to come home and cook dinner for him and the kids. I usually didn't get to take my break until 9:00 pm. I'd get home and the kids would be filthy (diapers not changed), unfed, and the house a mess and it way past their bedtime. I finally started cooking food before I left and leaving it in the fridge to be warmed. He wouldn't warm it. He'd still wait for me to come home on my break and feed them. And the kids were still not being bathed, changed, or put to bed at a decent hour. Needless to say, I quit the job, and he won.

There is much more involved and many more instances of these kinds of things occuring but I would be here typing all day if I were to go into any more detail. Fast forward, to the JWs. I believed it was the truth. I followed along with it for several years without any serious commitment to their rules, but wholeheartedly believed that their doctrine was spot on. The last year that I was in the truth, though unbaptized, I stopped engaging in the "worldly celebrations" in which I had always participated. My family was devasted. Little did I know that it would be the last opportunity for me to share Christmas, thanksgiving, father's day with my papa (granddad). May of last year he past away. I had gotten out of my direct involvement with the witnesses around February of 2002. Around December of 2001, was when I had found out about the UN thing, the pedophile thing, and found an abundance of other information about them of which I had not been previously aware....but my husband had been and apparently did not care about or care to tell me about. It seems now that I've left the truth that it has only served to drive him more into their arms. My mother tells me, it's because it fulfills his purposes. If I had stayed in, imagine the dominance he would've had over me and the kids. Dominance supported by his church, his bible, and his God. I cringe to think of how things would be if I had continued going. So, now...I feel like I'm just fighting to keep the few things left in my life that he hasn't stripped away from me. Once I saw that he was completely unwilling to listen to any kind of reasoning except that which they threw his way, I knew there was no hope.

I left him last year but wound up coming back because I couldn't find a job. At this point in my life, I am completely dependent on him, and I hate it. I know that it is not entirely his fault that I am here, but I can't help but feel like I have somehow been somewhat duped into this predicament. I mean, I could've choosen my friends over him, I could've told him to screw-off when he begged me not to go back to college...but I didn't. Jobs are scarce and are exceptionally hard to find when you haven't worked in several years. And finding decent and reasonably priced childcare is even more scarce. And honestly, I am terrified to leave them here with him (like what I did before when I worked) because he doesn't watch them or take care of their needs. I have been going back to school online and have one more class to take before being a certified medical receptionist. I should complete this by Sept of this year. I couldn't go anywhere else for schooling because now we make more money than we did when he went to school and we no longer qualify for enough financial aid to help pay for school expenses. And he is not going to pay a penny to help me go to school. Student loans are out of the question. So, I decided to go to an inexpensive tech school and get a certification, hoping that would help me get a decent job somewhere besides mcdonalds or burger king (not that anything is wrong with that, but let's face it, it's next to impossible to support yourself and 2 kids on that kind of income). So, during all this time, yes I have been bitter and withdrawn from him. I am angry because he has never been there for me, and it almost seems as though his only role in my life has been that of seeking out anything that brings me joy and stomping it out, and deliberately doing things to make me unhappy. I have been wanting a divorce for a while, but haven't had the resources to do so. It was just shocking to me that he went from quoting scriptures as to why he would not even consider instigating divorce, to now suggesting it.

The prpblem is that lately, the dubs ARE encouraging those with unbelieving mates to divorce on ground of "Spiritual endangerment." So jgnat is correct that if you want to stay, make it clear to the elders NOW that you wish to remain married despite your differences in beliefs. Another problem is that saying you "will support his beliefs" gives the JWs the impression that you will allow him to exercise headship over you and especially over the children (as soon as he is baptized, he becomes responsible for their everlasting life until they are of an age to decide for themselves to serve the true God, Jehovah, or not), which includes enforcing lots of things like meeting attendance, service, and non-celebration of holidays on which you two have been compromising thus far. He will be pushed and prodded to do things "Jehovah's way," which means the organization's way, which sure as hell isn't the way things have gone thus far.

This is basically what my friend told me and at first I thought he was all wrong. And now, just a couple of weeks before my husband's baptism, he is doing this. I think it killed him to wait until now. Honestly, I think he was ready to lay it on me the weekend my dad died, but then my dad died and he decided to wait.

To be brutally honest, I wonder if another witness recently came up single, or a new sister moved into the hall. Now that he will be baptised, he's actually got a chance with one of them.

To be honest, I had thought the same thing. There is another lady that attends the hall that he talks about a lot. She is a single mother with twin girls the same age as our daughter. She isn't baptized though, but she does attend meetings pretty regularly. Maybe nothing to it...but I would be a complete liar if I said this thought hasn't crossed my mind.

I know, and have known for sometime, that something needs to be done. I know the kids will eventually, if they haven't already, pick up on the tension between us. I just wasn't ready for him to spring this on me so soon after my dad's death. I just didn't expect it right now. Looks like I may be forced to choose something quicker than I had planned.

Thank you all for your responses and advice.

Sadie

14

What can I expect??

by Bona Dea in

my husband is getting baptized in 3 weeks.

i have had some tell me to expect some big changes.

as of now, i am agnostic...probably will be for the rest of my life.

Bona Dea

My husband is getting baptized in 3 weeks. I have had some tell me to expect some big changes. As of now, I am agnostic...probably will be for the rest of my life. I know beyond a shadow of any doubt what-so-ever that I will NEVER, ever be a Jehovah's Witness...ever!!! I have a friend who has warned me that the witnesses will try to manipulate my husband into letting me go because of this. He told me to expect them to be nice for a while as long as I am a potential convert and as long as they are trying to win my husband. All this time, the opposite has been occurring. I mean, they've been nice but not overly nice...and there has been no indication that they have been trying to persuade him into separating from me. He has been trying really hard to be nice (albeit phony and sickening as hell), but he has been laying it on thick, and goes on with this "Jehovah doesn't like divorce" stuff...because we have been struggling with our marriage for a very long time.

Okay, so I'm thinking that my friend is way off base here. Then last night, my husband starts this "neither of us are very happy...we may need to begin thinking about doing something about this..." hinting around about divorce. I was floored. This whole time he has been on a holy-roly "Jehovah doesn't approve of divorce" kick and NOW, all of a sudden, he is initiating a conversation about divorce...when before he made out as though it wasn't even an option as far as he was concerned. It couldn't come at a worse time. My daddy passed away Saturday June 14, and I have been really depressed. And my husband hasn't even tried to console me, or offer some sympathy, compassion or just sit and listen to me talk about my pain. Actually, he's hardly spoken to me at all since my dad died. And quite frankly, it pisses me off. We have basically avoided each other since the funeral. He did come to the funeral home for one viewing and for the funeral - he was a pallbearer - (I guess I should feel honored ), but he gave me a hard time at the first viewing (long story), so I asked him to just stay home until the actual funeral. This is has been a very painful and lonely time for me. And he just hasn't been there for me...he hasn't even tried. I have been bombarded with flowers, cards, food, etc from the bros and sis' at the Kingdom Hall...but my own husband has kept his distance. And then he drops this stuff on me about how we are not happy anymore (like this hasn't been obvious for some time now), and my daddy hasn't even been dead two weeks.

The way things stand now, we have 2 kids...one of which is not his (mine from a previous relationship - my partner left me). He now takes them to the KH, every other Sunday and on Thursday's when he gives talks. He gives them their "spiritual food", as he jokingly puts it, every other day (he reads from the My book of Bible Stories and they have like a 20 minute discussion about the story he read). He has been trying to pressure me into letting him take them out into the service, but I don't think so. I get to take them to any church or no church every other Sunday (I am agnostic, so we go nowhere) and I get to do holidays with them - he doesn't participate, however...and I usually do the parties (easter, birthdays, etc) at my mom's house, to avoid arguing with him about it. So, this is currently our arrangement.

What do you guys think? I can't expect things to stay this way, can I? Should I brace myself for the worst?